Maybe it's the time of year, maybe it's because I have a fondness for fairisle, most likely it's because I love Wham's Last Christmas a little too much, but if you were to ask me what would feature in my perfect holiday, I would say crisp snow, cosy lodges, poor attempts at skiing and drinking a vat or two of hot chocolate with my husband and kiddos whilst wearing crazy jumpers (and hair and teeth as good as the Wham boys, obviously, but no casting longing looks across a badly decorated Christmas tree).
Having lived in Switzerland for seven years, you'd be forgiven for thinking that maybe we'd tackled a slope or two. Well, you'd be almost right. Both Paul and I spent a fair bit of time in ski school on what we thought was a rather impressive incline. Whizzing down at approximately 0.000092 miles per hour, we felt for sure that we were future Olympic team contenders. Until we went back to the slope in summer. And couldn't actually locate said 'slope' because the incline was so minute it was practically horizontal. Our hopes and dreams were dashed ... crushed beneath the skis of four year old Swiss children laughing while speeding past us.
However, all is not lost. All is not lost because we have two Switzerland-born children. Two Switzerland-born children that have a fearless need for speed and a penchant for a little danger. Two little boys (aged four and a few weeks off two) that cling to their birth roots and crave the chill of the snow and the thrill of a downhill chase (and the promise of a vat or two of hot chocolate). We could have Olympic contenders in the family after all!
There is but one problem though. We live in a sleepy village in North Wales that suffers from a complete and utter lack of snow. How are two British team hopefuls meant to practise? No opportunity to snowplough never mind tackling moguls. Have we deprived them of future victory by moving them back to the UK? Have we robbed them of Olympic golds? Who will take over from Graham Bell and Ed Leigh on Ski Sunday now?
Not wanting to (or willing to, to be honest) recreate a snowy mountain scene on our new flooring, we racked our brains for a suitable alternative for the boys to experience the thrill of cruising along the fine white powder of the Alps.
And came up with bedboarding.
Yes, you read that correctly, not snowboarding but instead, bedboarding. Exceptionally similar to snowboarding obviously, just from the comfort of your double divan. I imagine it's exactly what world champion snowboarder Roope Tonteri does to practise whenever he can't get to the slopes.
For your enjoyment (and education), my eldest little dude has recorded a beginner's guide to bedboarding and shares his top tip. I wouldn't say it's a comprehensive guide. I can only guess that he doesn't want to give away his competitive advantage.
We'd love to see the boys progress from cardboard to snowboard or skis and that is why we're throwing our hats in to the ring to be considered as a Mark Warner ambassador for 2015. We've been fully enamoured of Mark Warner's friendly and exceptional service and attention to detail since reading about the experiences of Katie at Mummy Daddy Me and Helen at Actually Mummy. We have an inkling that they could be the tour operator for us and we would love to work with them next year. Not to put any pressure on the Mark Warner team but our perfect holiday, not to mention Britain's future chances at the Winter Olympics, depends on them.